The following four paradigms reflect a summary of the healing model introduced to me during a health retreat I undertook at 'Fountainhead' in Maleny, Queensland, Australia in January 2010.
'Wrong Path' vs. 'Life is a journey'...
From our birth through to around the age of 7, we are often surrounded with lots of ‘don’t’ messages from others who impact on and influence our world view. For example, comments like: ‘Don’t stick your fingers in that’, ‘don’t jump on the lounge’, ‘don’t hit your sister’, don’t do that’ are just some that come to mind. So by the time we’ve reached that st/age of about 7, we’ve begun to believe that we’re ‘on the wrong path’ in life.
In reality, we are simply learning about how to survive life for as long as we are able. For a more enhanced learning, what we need to be taught are positive ‘do’ messages. Some examples: ‘Do this’, do that’, ‘let me show you another way’ etc. Modelling and mentoring the behaviours we want our children to adopt is crucial if we are to 'teach the children well'. Remember, our life is the journey we each breathe our way through from our first breath to the last we draw, always learning life lessons along the way.
Missing Out vs. Having the life you’re meant to be having...
We might often get the feeling that we’re ‘missing out’ on something or another. As an example, perhaps we have homework to complete one night when another opportunity is to attend a friend’s social gathering instead. As we engage through the homework tasks, we may choose to resent the fact that we’re not at the gathering and hence may feel that we’re ‘missing out’.
The alternative view in this Fountainhead model is that we’re simply having the life journey we’re meant to be having. We need to focus on being in the life journey we're experiencing. Focusing on ‘missing out’ are breaths wasted because you're not there; you're where you are. How else can you better invest those breaths?
Not everyone who buys a lottery ticket wins a prize. That's 'just how it is'...
In 'a compass of life', some things (North) are meant to be and some things (South) are not. Some things are meant to be (East) for a time (for example our life, where we live, a job we do) and some things are meant to be (West) but not yet (like people yet to be born). Plot where you are on your life compass now. Will your position change over time?
Could have/should have vs. We only know what we know when we know it...
We often reflect on the past and wish that we had made different decisions to the ones we did at the time.
Cognitive dissonance is a term in psychology describing psychological distress that can emerge internally when we hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time. For example, when we must decide about a particular purchase or disposing of something, we often have more than one option.
If we choose Option A in favour of Option B, that is the decision we make at the time (in that breath). If, later, we are less than satisfied with that decision, there’s nothing we can do about changing it.
Saying to ourselves ‘I should have' (bought a blue car, gone on holiday to Spain etc.) or 'I could have’ (gone to the dance party, eaten less for lunch) is pointless. While reflection on the past is often good for retrieving fond memories or helping us to remember what we learned from a particular experience, we cannot alter what the outcomes were.
Used with kind permission from Mr Ian Trust, Wunan Foundation, East Kimberly region of Western Australia.
This metaphor was posted on YouTube on 13th October, 2013.
It serves as a comprehensive example of how intergenerational issues have led us to the position so many people find themselves in today.
A Compass of Life…
North – some things in our life journey are ‘meant to be’ so they occur either intentionally or inadvertently. Reflect back over your life’s journey to this point in time to see how you developed, the environments you were nurtured in, the people who have been or are a part of your life. Que sera; sera…. whatever will be, will be.
South – some things in your life are not ‘meant to be’ so they don’t happen. For example, some people buy lottery tickets in the hope of winning a lot of money but never do. Some people live to be over 100 years old; others do not.
West – some things are ‘meant to be’ but not yet. As an example, there are future generations of people yet to be born so we don’t know yet who they’ll be or what their achievements will yield. I wonder where our world will evolve over the next century?
East – some things are ‘meant to be’ but only for a time. A bit like life really… we were all born at one time and at some stage in our lives, we will all die. We were all an infant, a child, an adolescent, a teenager as we grew ‘up’ and ‘older’ to hopefully become an adult at some stage as we breathed our way through in our life journey so far.
Taking charge of your life, being responsible for the decisions you make and embracing whatever opportunities life offers us all are all important. Being the best person you can be in all of those stages is the aim.
Remember, you are a human ‘be’ing; not simply a human ‘do’ing…’be’ in the breath you’re in. Focus on the centre of your own compass.